08/12/2025
There was this guy called Emma, a lover boy with premium begging skills. Anytime his babe, Amara, got angry, Emma would immediately transform from boyfriend to prayer warrior. One day, after a small argument about who finished the last yogurt in the fridge, Amara packed her imaginary bags and said:
“Emma, I’m tired. I want to leave this relationship.”
Before she even finished talking, Emma was already on the floor, holding her ankle like a WiFi antenna trying to catch network.
“Babe please don’t leave me 😭. I can’t live without you. I will change. I swear, even if I don’t know what I did, I’ll still say sorry. Please babe, don’t leave me!”
Amara folded her arms, inhaled like someone about to deliver a TED Talk, and said:
“Leave you? With what hope? With what strength? With what stamina? My brother… 10 minutes on bed, how will I survive this marriage?”
Emma froze.
His begging spirit paused.
Even the fan stopped turning for dramatic effect.
“B-babe,” he stammered, “why you dey shout my performance like NEPA bill? Must you announce my 10 minutes to the whole universe?”
Amara shook her head. “Ten minutes wey still include water break and motivational quotes? One day you said ‘babe give me small time, I’m gathering energy’, next thing you slept off! Gathered energy inside dream.”
Emma’s eyes widened like someone who just realized he forgot his ATM card password.
“Baby please,” he said, crawling forward like a rejected house cat. “Don’t do me like this. You know 10 minutes is because I love you too much. My love is powerful, that’s why it rushes.”
Amara burst into laughter. “Powerful? Even indomie takes 3 minutes but still lasts longer than you!”
Emma placed both hands on his chest dramatically. “Ah! Babe you want to finish my career. See, I promise—no more 10 minutes. I’ll upgrade. I’ll train. I’ll download tutorials!”
Amara raised one eyebrow. “Tutorials from where? YouTube?”
“Anywhere! Even Google Fit! I’ll join gym! Babe I’ll even start eating tiger nut and bitter ko
