The Ashes according to Stanley

The Ashes according to Stanley Probably the only place for intelligent discussion on the 2023 Ashes. It's here again. The page they couldn't shoot, root or execute. This time it's serious.

The Ashes according to Stanley. We've been through fires, pestilence, plague and pandemics since the last real Ashes with only a series of friendly don't count practise matches since. Unless we start to lose, in which case it's just a game.

25/02/2025

Surely not.....

I ended the ASHES ACCORDING TO STANLEY because it had run it's course and a lot of people didn't get the humour.

However......

The England v Colonies test matches are coming up at the end of the year.

As it happens, I have a small team of missionaries coming over. Whilst it has been difficult to educate this area of our extended kingdom, we are prepared to have another go.

It seems the locals think they can beat the motherland. Whilst we are happy to give your boys a chance, and maybe even throw a couple of matches, we still need to make sure everyone understands how it actually works.

Cannot wait

24/07/2023

So that's that. A bit of a damp squib way to determine the destination of the Ashes, but it is what it is. Ironic that Australia retain them in a match where, honestly, they were being as outplayed as I can ever remember in tests between the two nations.

So still interest in the last one. Some players may be making their final appearances in an Ashes test (Jimmy) Some players should be making their final appearance in any test (Little Davey)

Some captains might not be captains any more (Paddy Pies) and England will be keen to tie the series to underline the fact that the best side hasn't actually won this time.

My grapes may be accused of tasting a bit sour, but one thing can't be lost on any of you who actually follow cricket - banter aside.

It's called role reversal. England have played with arrogance and swagger. Australia have played like....poms really. Even allowing for not losing the ashes, that has to sting just a little bit.

It's also going to be the last Ashes series for This page. I haven't had the time to engage properly and like little Davey, it's time to call it a day. I'll always follow the cricket and carry on the banter, but this race is run. Thanks for the fun over several series.

God Save Your King

Hot off the press. After his performance at Old Trafford, Pat Cummins has picked up a new sponsor.
22/07/2023

Hot off the press. After his performance at Old Trafford, Pat Cummins has picked up a new sponsor.

I've been very busy sorting out English cricket, so my apologies for the lack of the usual insight, but - replacing quan...
22/07/2023

I've been very busy sorting out English cricket, so my apologies for the lack of the usual insight, but - replacing quantity with quality - I have obtained exclusive footage of Paddy "Pies" Cummins and Miss Piggy preparing for the last two days play at Old Trafford.

Well that was straightforward enough. A bit of adjustment to the settings of the DRS, and a bit of luck and England are ...
20/07/2023

Well that was straightforward enough. A bit of adjustment to the settings of the DRS, and a bit of luck and England are right in this after the wheels, axles and doors fell off the Baggy Green bus.

It's obviously no coincidence that the most one sided day of the series happened immediately after my arrival in blighty.

The weather still has a part to play, but it certainly ain't over 'til it's over.....

Been offline for a bit for various reasons. It seemed clear that the Bazboys would need a bit of intellectual assistance...
20/07/2023

Been offline for a bit for various reasons. It seemed clear that the Bazboys would need a bit of intellectual assistance if they are to get over the line against the colony, so I've agreed to fly over and advise. Even if they don't want me to.

More unbiased insight into the fight between our brave boys and the bullying convicts can be expected soon

Bad enough when you're not famous enough to get a profile picture, but I reckon this is a bit harsh on Harry Potter....
09/07/2023

Bad enough when you're not famous enough to get a profile picture, but I reckon this is a bit harsh on Harry Potter....

So...having got the understandable emotion out of my system, The Ashes according to Stanley would like to say what a gre...
09/07/2023

So...having got the understandable emotion out of my system, The Ashes according to Stanley would like to say what a great advert for test cricket we've seen again. Let's look at the key points.

1. England won.
2. Australia lost.
3. Scott Boland is not very good. Never was, never will be.
4. Travis Head is now challenging for the most successful dwarf of the series award. Carry on Dick.
5. Picking a fast bowler is probably a good idea.
6. Picking Harry Potter as your replacement spinner, probably not a good idea.
7. Ashes not over. Just yet. Please hang on until I get there.

09/07/2023

One request. Please leave Davey B Broad in. It's really funny.

09/07/2023

My apologies. I've been busy with work, and I haven't had time to watch much of this match. How did it end up ?

06/07/2023

Real life got in the way last night. Suffice it to say I was real happy, then not happy, then real happy again, then not happy.

That concludes the summary of yesterday's play....

Recipe of the Day. Courtesy of The Ashes according to. Destined to become a new Aussie favourite.Take some Kiwi sheep te...
04/07/2023

Recipe of the Day. Courtesy of The Ashes according to. Destined to become a new Aussie favourite.

Take some Kiwi sheep testicles. Skewer them and wrap in foil. Place a load of wood in the barbie and light. When the Ashes are ready, bury them until absolutely cooked and Voila !!!!

Bazball kebabs.

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