13/10/2026
For October's open mic, we invited the fabulous Mr Blandford Cavern to be our featured poet!
Once our audience was throughly warmed up, Mr Blandford Cavern performed a delightfully witty selection of poems, delivered with his trademark style of deadpan humour.
His set was structured chronologically, taking us on a journey from 1975 to the present day.
From a love poem he wrote for his teacher, and collecting collections of collections in 'Save Me', to the hilarious 'No One's Ever Died of Hunger on a Cruise', Mr Blandford Cavern's quick fire alliteration made us all dizzy!
We grimaced to the brilliantly graphic answer to what happens when you cross a good joke with a heavy cold in 'The Consequence of a Cold and a Joke'.
Times are getting tougher, so Mr Blandford Cavern introduced us to his own personal recession indicator in 'Getting Smaller'. Spoiler: it's a shrinking Mars bar!
Next on the setlist was the very first poem Abby G heard Mr Blandford Cavern perform all those years ago! Safe to say, 'Bring Back Hanging' is still just as hard-hitting.
After the break, Mr Blandford-Cavern returned to the stage for a sensational second set. He told us all about his favourite colour with 'Purple Heart,' and made us laugh with fan-favourites 'I'm Glad You Didn't Come to My Funeral' and 'You Love Your Cat More Than Me.'
Before the last poem of the night, we took a trip to Skerryvore with 'Dead Man's Chest,' which was written there in response to a writing workshop Abby G ran a few years ago.
Mr Blandford Cavern left us with a theatrical (and somewhat supernatural!) performance of the suitably spooky 'Resurrection of the Dead.'
For the final portion of the evening, Mr Blandford Cavern invited his musical group, Uncut Diamonds to the stage! Our audience toe-tapped and nodded along to an exclusive concert of their greatest hits before we finished for the night.
As they say, always finish on a song!