06/08/2026
Today we're checking in with tips from our wedding planners and their real-world experiences of wedding guest etiquette things that perhaps you haven't thought of but you definitely should consider.
First up on the list...Let's talk about RSVP-ing. If you are invited to a wedding, make sure that you RSVP as soon as possible and definitely before the deadline. The couple has enough going on leading up to their wedding day without chasing your response and likely has a caterer who has a requirement to have final numbers and final meal selections between four and six weeks before the wedding day. If they haven't heard from you, they might not have the meal you want.
Next up let's talk about the plan. This couple has been planning this wedding for months if not years. They have gone into every detail from the decor to the timing of the day to the vendors that matter most to them. There is a plan. The coordinator is following it for the couple. Please, please, please, no matter how well-meaning, don't make changes.
This one is a big one for me (Rebecca) both on the day of, but when we see it in photos and videos afterwards as well, when there are dozens, 50, 100 guests on a wedding day and there is one or two that are standing up. Whether that's during the ceremony, during speeches, or another part of the day when everyone else is seated, it stands out in a bad way. Plus you are likely in the way of working vendors this couple has selected for the day. You do not want to be that one tall poppy standing up in the middle of the ceremony in every one of their photos and videos.
On to number four. This one I will admit I understand where you're coming from. You've gotten to the reception hall. You want to relax and enjoy the night and you think I'll just pop in to the reception room to drop my jacket on the back of my chair or set down my bag so that I have my hands free to enjoy cocktail hour. While I understand you are absolutely well-meaning, there are often final touches to the decor, as well as photos and videos of the untouched decor happening. Maybe the couple even has planned a first sneak peek of their reception before guests enter. Please, please, please stay out of the reception room until you are invited in.
The next two cover something that can be the most amazing or not part of a wedding day: speeches.
1. Please no surprise speeches. If you have not talked to the couple ahead of time and they have not given you the okay and added your speech to the timeline, don't walk up to the mic expecting to give a speech. It is not the time or place for you to have a moment in the spotlight. Let's keep the night rolling so that the couple can enjoy the day and get time to spend with their guests.
On that same note whether you are into the speeches or not, whether you are sitting next to a friend or family member you haven't seen in months or even years and are excited to catch up, when speeches are happening please be respectful and sit quietly and listen so that those around you who are interested in the speech can hear what's going on. There's nothing worse than a bride and groom not being able to hear the speeches because of guests chattering at their tables.
It is an honor and a privilege to be invited to witness someone's wedding day and be a part of the celebration. While you are there let's do everything we can to be the most kind, supportive guests at this once-in-a-lifetime celebration for people that we love and care about.
Recent brides and grooms, do you have anything that you would add to this list of things you wished guests did or didn't do on your wedding day? Drop it in the comments below so that we can share them out.
