14/09/2026
Unspoken expectations have a habit of becoming silent disappointments. When they are not expressed, they can create distance between team members.
We assume our colleagues understand us and know what we need, what we value, or how we expect them to behave towards us, particularly during challenging conversations when emotions may be running high. These assumptions can lead us to create a story about what we believe to be true about our colleagues and their behaviour. The story we tell ourselves can quickly become “the truth,” leading us to react rather than remain curious about what is actually happening.
When our expectations are not met, frustration grows. In multicultural teams, where there may also be a fear of hurting, offending or disrespecting someone, that frustration can remain unspoken, and misalignment begins to creep into the team.
Not because anyone intentionally wanted to upset anyone else, but because team members did not realise there were unspoken expectations in the first place. And, of course, in any relationship dynamic, there always are!
I have found that some of the most powerful team conversations, and those that lead to greater alignment, begin when a team slows down, checks in with one another and asks a simple question:
“What is your best hope or expectation for today?”
or
“What are you expecting from me or from this conversation?”
Taking the time to check in with one other, voice expectations and make them explicit gives team members greater clarity. From that place of shared understanding, they can begin to align on the way forward.
Moving away from individual, unspoken expectations towards explicit team agreements can support a team in working through the challenges it faces.
What unspoken expectations might be driving your team today?