09/10/2026
If you're waiting to sign up for the Publix Gasparilla Half Marathon...here are the bribes social media girl is willing to consider when it sells out. Please plan ahead as the race is over 50% sold out.
🏴☠️Expensive running accessories
I don't need another running watch. I also absolutely need another running watch.
🏴☠️Travel to unnecessarily adventurous places
Patagonia? Iceland? Kenya? The Dolomites? Somewhere I can say "take me back" while posting 47 pictures of myself running.
🏴☠️A suspiciously large hotel room with a bathtub for 3-5 business days
🏴☠️Business-class airfare, I have suffered enough in 17B.
🏴☠️A massage that lasts longer than my attention span
🏴☠️ Tickets to LA 2028
Please act accordingly.
www.rungasparilla.com