Gātuvid Dharma: My journey to finding my greater purpose through running

11/01/2021

Today I realized that I finished my 300 mile challenge last month. It took me forever to get there. But I realized something in it's completion. Yes, it took me 305 days to complete 315.77 miles, mostly running a few walks here and there (most of the walks over this time period I didn't count), but I did it. I now will continue on to complete the 500 mile challenge with hopes that I will continue on after that and do the 700 and then the 1000 mile challenge.

For some of you this is nothing, I have friends that run 50 miles a week, but this isn't about them (although I congratulate their athleticism and success), this is about me. Aging hasn't been easy for me, and I know for those of us who have been elite athletes most of our lives it can be daunting and frustrating as our bodies begin to age and slow us down a bit. I have had injury, pain and even surgery over the last few years and that has become a source of frustration and down right demotivation, but I am fighting back and honestly we all can.

I started training again today, mostly because I booked a 10K in February, and honestly don't want to make a complete ass out of myself in front of my fiance, who will be there when I cross the finish line, but more importantly I needed the motivation to get off my ass and actually prioritize me.

Being a full-time working mom gives a plethora of excuses to not prioritize my own health and well being, and I have used just about all of them to keep me stuck. We all have a million excuses not to put us first, not to prioritize health, and self-care and usually we have some great and valid excuses, but then again that won't get you anywhere.

I have gained 23 pounds since my 44th birthday, I have prioritized work, family, friends and just about anything else I can find to put myself last and it has yielded weight gain and a series of excuses and negative self talk. People always say to set an example for our children and honestly this isn't the example I want to set for my daughter. So the only way out is action.

Why am I posting this? For one I need to hold myself accountable and have something concrete in writing to go back to and remind myself when undoubtably I seach for a million excuses not to go run, or lift or get off my ass, and for the other to maybe for one second light a fire under one of your asses to get out and stop making excuses for settling! You want a change, than do something different. Cause the truth is, we all can. We have the strength, we have the reason, we just need to act on it and do it.

If you need someone to help, ping me, believe me we can do it together. It starts with one small decision...then the next, then one more, and before you know it....you won't recognize the persion you've become.

Until then, if you want to follow me I will do my best to post my journey although I kinda suck at remembering to do that. If anything it will be entertaining to watch me push myself through those days when I reallly don't want to do anything but waste time. Again, you can change anything in your life once you decide that staying where you are isn't working.

Cheers,
Stefanie

10/07/2021

Yesterday was a non-running day that was suppose to be strength training but the gloomy weather and my lack of motivation proved to sideline me into a 5 mile walk and no strength training of any kind. (Baby Steps). I did however, get the opportunity to enjoy the amazing beauty we have here in the Riverdale Park Trail which is 144.6 acres of wooded natural beauty along the Hudson River. I walked the back roads and the trail along with running up the famous Kappock staircase, as I recentered myself and got some much needed exercise.

Today...I will attempt another run (G-d help me). I am struggling with lack of motivation, discipline, and distraction (amazing how easy it is to find something else to do case in point this Facebook post rather than get my arse out there and run). Until then, enjoy these snapshots of beautiful Riverdale and maybe just maybe I will finish my pre-work out drink and get my lazy a$$ outside for a much needed run.

Cheers!!

10/06/2021

Today's morning run...rolling hills of Palisade Ave. Time was much faster even with hills, very happy with the results as getting back into the groove is harder than it used to be.

Weather was damp but temperature was cool, body was tired but I managed to go the distance, body is sore and man do I feel old, but I will keep going until I get back to where I once was in 2015.

10/01/2021

It’s been a long time coming…my return to the NYC streets, to regain my strength, stamina and speed. It will be a hard road, gained 25 lbs over the spring/summer and lost all three components to successful running, but I will once again prove to myself that I can drop the weight and gain back my athleticism again to hopefully run the 2022 NYC Marathon (yep that’s the goal, now I need to get in lol).

I’ve been an elite athlete my whole life, yet starting over never seems to get any easier. Age, weight and lack of energy will make this journey an even rougher one but those of you who know me well know I am stubborn as hell!

Here’s to a new adventure!!!

10/14/2020

October 14th, 2020...
It's been a long time since I have posted. Life has a way of foiling your plans sometimes. Just G-ds way of letting us know that we are not in control. October 1st 2020, I went for surgery for a neuroma (Nerve Bundle "tumor") in my right foot. I thought that it would be the solution for the pain I have been struggling with the last 7 months which kept me far from the goal I had to be in half marathon shape by June. It seems like ions ago I was that girl, the one who dazzled the world with my passion for running, crossing finish lines from California to NY.

This is what healing looks like...Struggling through the pain to walk again. Fighting through the tears as I learn to desensitize my nerves again, the nausea from the medications, the headaches, and the isolation of being stuck in bed for weeks. It is so hard, I can't begin to explain what this healing feels like much less looks like.

Each step I take is like searing blades of fire stabbing my foot in all directions, fear has become my nemesis, and bravery my badge. This is what they meant when they said be "Brave". Bravery is taking the step when I know that it is going to hurt like hell. Bravery is tapping on surface of my foot while I fight the tears rolling down my face, bravery is tying to live my life battling cluster headaches, nausea and imbalance. Brave is knowing I must cause myself physical pain so I can heal and someday be pain free. Bravery is smiling when I want to break down and cry. Yes I am "Brave".

I am terrified of the unknown thoughts that creep up and tell me that I may never run another half marathon, nor cross any finish lines again. So I hold on to those memories and fight like hell to heal so that one day I can again dazzle the world with my stories of my racing adventures.

This is what is to be "Brave" this is what my healing looks like...

09/03/2020

http://chng.it/Xf59zWfNLS Please sign this petition!!! Help another runner be able to realize her dream of being in the 2021 Olympics!!!

Let Beatie Deutch Compete!! Change the 2021 Marathon Date!!!

08/31/2020

August 31, 2020....the first day of my new training plan to get myself back to running...I took almost 3 months off to let my foot rest and hopefully heal. It has seen little improvement, but I intend on getting back to running regardless of the pain and discomfort until my foot forces me to get surgery.

I will start easy, it will be frustrating for sure. My intention is to begin this training with 50% of the mileage I was doing prior to the cut off. I was running 3.2 miles/day 6 days a week which is about 19.2 miles. This means I have to run 10 miles this week. Increasing by 10% each week until I get back to standard mileage, with hopes that I can push beyond that to 10K and possibly half-marathon training distances.

I have diversified this training to include cross training 3 x per week and would like to eventually sqeeze in some yoga, but let's not get too ambitious in my pursuits too early. I have no idea how my body will respond.

Today's work out---4 miles alternating .5 miles run .5 miles walk. Avg running pace 9.28/mile brisk but not killing myself.

The pain was very apparent and the atrophy was also there. Lung capacity was also rusty, but confident that with time the body will remember running.

This weeks goal is to run this pattern for 1 complete week. M, Th, Sun see how the body responds to this alternating 30 min of cross training Tues, Wed, Fri Sat walking/hiking only.

Once the body has a week of this schedule evalutate to see if 10% increase is the best option or to hold same schedule based on body response.

Starting body measurements: Current Weight 131.0 lbs; Height 5'6", bicep 10.5", Thigh 21", Chest 32" Hips 36.5" Waist 30".

Food plan: 100-120 calories every 2.5-3 hours reduce sugar intake to keep blood sugar spikes down, water intake goal of 100 ml daily (current 40-60 ml). Sleep goal (current 4-5 hours) goal is to increase hourly sleep goal until I hit 8 hours per night.