10/09/2025
THE MID-LIFE FINANCIAL CRISIS
Most of us in mid-life have one and only one financial problem in common. We don’t have enough money. We know we don’t have enough money. We pretend to others and ourselves that we have money. We don’t know what to do about not having enough money. There, that sums up the problem nicely and wraps up the technical side of this article. If you caught me 10 years ago, I would probably go through how the problem is spending, not budgeting, debt, the shortfall in pensions, lack of investment, passive income etc. These are all valid. But now a couple of years into my own experience of mid-life plus many ambushes in car parks, where I am expected to produce a 5-minute foolproof retirement plan that magically forgives all financial sins committed in the last 30 years, I now know this conversation must be approached differently. Let’s go beyond surface level talk on this one.
How did we get here? Denial. We got lost chasing big titles, profitable looking businesses but financially not much to show for it. The myth of corporate and business success. I recently met a banker who had been earning seven figures for a while. In terms of assets, she had her home paid down but not much else to show for it. Likewise, many entrepreneurs have pumped all they have into the business and nothing else. Unfortunately, when jobs end supermarkets don’t allow you to walk through with your trolley because you have a home or business. Cash is still king! Our worldly success never translated into financial freedom. We have built lifestyles that are eating up most of the income that we do generate. The first step is awareness that this is indeed your situation. Something unspecified is not magically going to change unless you participate. It is preferable to make mistakes with your eyes wide open. Go ahead and pop the bottle of champagne but not with your head buried in the sand. You might not have the answer today but as you ‘do you’, know that a moment of reckoning has to happen. Where you come face to face with your financial self in the mirror. The sooner the better. Audit yourself. Where exactly are you? Money does not care if you are the CEO. One plus one will always be two and not ten. I have coached many C-Suite executives who thought the basic principles were beyond them until numbers are put in front of them. I love it because our sessions become conversations about – ‘Who are you without the title?’ When it comes to money, humility is a great place to start.
I have a client, let’s call him Max, who recently told me that he would rather die than give up golf. I can sense the relief many of you are having at this point because you thought I would tell you to give up the things you like. He had just been retrenched (having been replaced by younger and cheaper) and of course the sensible thing to do would have been to cut off those expenses. This is not saying that he will not have to trim some fat, but this line item was not to be touched. My younger self might have judged him, but I completely understood. I think mid-life is about re-writing the script on money before you get to budgets and financial plans. I have scootered off to the Coast to scuba dive when my bank account and the obligations before me told me not to dare. Somehow, I knew everything will be OK if I can just escape to the under-water world. To date I am glad to say that I haven’t been wrong. Max felt that golf was the one thing he had always done for himself. Not out of responsibility, obligation or even performance. Just for him. It was part of his restoration process and a social identity outside his job. It wasn’t just a sport but a wellness strategy. We all know the confusion and responsibility that comes with mid-life. As someone told me, it is the stage in life where you get permission to act like you know everything while truly knowing nothing. Everybody finds their own formula to cope with this and it is literally non-negotiable at this point in life. So, any financial adjustments have to work around this. So go ahead and unapologetically own your non-negotiables.
However, it is also about accepting that you might not be able to have it all and neither do you want it all. We don’t get to run away from taking time to truly understand who we are by overextending ourselves. Not only don’t we have bandwidth anymore, but we must walk the narrow path of zoning down on what we truly want. We may not afford to want what we have been conditioned or told to want. We cannot afford to people please. The definition of success and even wealth has to be radically different. Many of us are coasting down the highway of poverty in a luxury vehicle that we don’t really want but we seem to think it pleases other people to see us in it. Is wealth in the accumulation of stuff, money and assets or is wealth the ability to design a life in this season that has purpose, legacy and your definition of abundance? If it is the latter, then you will be able to figure out how much is enough and what needs adjusting to get to it. It must be accepted that the life that you want will cost you something. The price many times is breaking up with convention in some way or form. Questioning attachments like houses, schools we take children to, financial responsibilities that have been thrown on us, roles, relationships, career choices etc. it doesn’t mean you’ll automatically make changes but the willingness to question must be there to open our minds up to possible solutions. I am a strong supporter of letting go of convention in favour of what has true value.
When all is said and done, we cannot run away from the fact that this is the season in which must ask ourselves, ‘If not now, when?’ That if we continue waiting for the financial checks and balances to be in place, we may never do anything. The reason this article is for you in midlife is that you been through enough of life with its lessons, ups and downs. As I have pointed out you probably have been humbled along the way and attempt (even though not perfectly) to keep your head out of the sand, know the things that are non-negotiable in your life, understand the kind of life that you truly want and have recognized that people pleasing is an investment promising diminishing returns. The conventional principles of money management are timeless and important but at this stage in life, you can bring a sense of personal balance and awareness into your money that only you can see. That at some level only you will understand the moves you have decided to make, and they will be the right ones. Despite narratives on age, couldn’t this also be your best season yet and everything else you had to learn along the way was just what you needed for your next step? I am now seeing so many people re-invent careers and businesses later in life that financially I believe that the best is still yet to come for many of us though it may have to be defined and calculated differently. This is where our financial plans not only have strategy but conviction. A meeting of faith and finances. Retirement is rephrased as re-invention. That we are our true assets and what we may not have done is taken time to understand that asset and its value because we were in a box. Start thinking of your mid-life not as a financial crisis but possible financial opportunity. I’m in this journey as well so let’s open our eyes together and go down the road less travelled with mid-life and money.
Waceke is the Founder of Centonomy and Author of Making Cents
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