03/09/2023
Trigger warning – loss.
In 2021, Victoria went to A&E because of severe abdominal cramps.
“They’d been occurring intermittently for a couple of weeks. I had no other symptoms (as far as I was aware). In hindsight, I was on the skinny side and feeling tired. I was also going to the loo a bit more, which I put down to too much coffee and a high-pressure job. I didn’t think the cramps were anything sinister.”
It took some time for Victoria to get an accurate diagnosis. The first time she had heard the word “cancer” was as she was being prepared for surgery. The operation went well, and Victoria started chemotherapy.
“Being in limbo about whether it had spread or not was probably the worst part of my journey. I was so nervous, knowing that this scan was the moment which determined whether I could cling onto the hope of a return to normality, or whether I would have to live with cancer until the end.”
“The only words I heard were 'it's not good news. I'm sorry Victoria, your cancer has spread. It's not curable. From now on, it's not about getting rid of the cancer, it's about managing it.' This turned my life upside down – all my plans for having children, starting a new job, all the things we strive for when we assume a long life – scuppered.”
“The thing that has kept me going is the support I get from loved ones. They’ve been through every scary appointment, and tear. But importantly, we've still been able to laugh together. Whether it's the perfect cup of tea brought to me in bed, being whisked off by my friends for a spa weekend, or simply saying 'I know this is sh*t, and I'm so proud of you', they have kept me feeling warm and safe.”
We also want to say thank you to Victoria’s loved ones. They've continued to support us in her memory after she passed away a year ago today. Last year, with help from Victoria, they set up the Big Bathe – a 750m or 1.5k swim off the sandy beach at West Wittering. They raised £68,000. This year they're back, supporting us and a local hospice.
If you’d like to take part in the Big Bathe, register here: https://bit.ly/3YN5y48